[0.0s] Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[30.0s] You say cultists one more time! It was the sisterhood and you know it. So have been. Slight.
[36.0s] All the gods get kidnapped in the future and like kind of currently-
[39.0s] Yes, yes, that was part of the plan.
[40.0s] It's like all orcas all the time now. Or in the future.
[43.0s] It's really the orca show, it sucks.
[45.0s] Did Bahamut tell you that we had both agreed to work with orcas?
[54.0s] I don't think it came up?
[55.0s] No, but I do think that he's been the double-crossed.
[59.0s] So Silent One?
[61.0s] Yes.
[62.0s] What action are you driven to at this moment?
[66.0s] Um, Agoth is gonna make Tiamat a scone feast.
[73.0s] And say, help us fuck up orcas.
[80.0s] It has been a long time since I have been struck speechless.
[84.0s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons. I'm your Dungeon Master Russ More. He, him, also with me today is Karla Maxedad.
[95.0s] She, her, playing Neryxious Akra. Normally Glim, but did get a Neryxious from Tiamat, so I knew I was in trouble.
[104.0s] That's your name now. Amy More.
[107.0s] Yeah, she, her, I'm playing Sullivan Sleight. He, him, and humbled.
[113.0s] Tom Laird. He, him, I'm playing Moot. Also he, him.
[119.0s] Kristen Flemmons.
[120.0s] Hello. She, her, playing Agoth. Also she, her, and Rax. He, him, magical baker.
[127.0s] And Sean Howard.
[129.0s] He, him, playing Tiamat. She, her, who's eating scones happily.
[134.0s] As we all should be.
[135.0s] I would like to say I retract my boo from earlier. I didn't know how this was gonna go down.
[140.0s] I thought for sure I was gonna die in the last episode. I'm gonna.
[144.0s] I mean, it's still a possibility.
[145.0s] I know. I'm gonna withhold my boo though.
[147.0s] We made it through one.
[149.0s] I'm gonna withhold my boo.
[150.0s] That'll be in the down time.
[151.0s] Yeah.
[152.0s] Which, speaking of, you can get down times for every episode when you're a patron.
[155.0s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast. And you also get an episode dedicated to you like today's patron, Operatic Muddle.
[162.0s] Operatic Muddle.
[164.0s] Oh my god.
[165.0s] That's fun.
[166.0s] That is fun. Thank you so much.
[168.0s] That's my next band name.
[169.0s] It's a good one.
[170.0s] It's really good.
[171.0s] If it hasn't already been taken, Sean, you gotta check.
[173.0s] Maybe it's their band.
[174.0s] Operatic Muddle Redux.
[176.0s] Also, side note, if you don't know what Russ meant when he said the down times is where we like recap the episode for a few minutes.
[183.0s] And it comes out on your Patreon feed like Saturday.
[185.0s] Sometimes we do a little planning too and like a rehash of like where we think we should go.
[191.0s] So it's almost like not spoilers, but like a little like.
[195.0s] You get a little peek behind the curtain.
[198.0s] Then we have a pee break and they forget everything we talked about.
[201.0s] Absolutely.
[202.0s] That's exactly it.
[203.0s] This is the ADHD working.
[205.0s] And they forget everything they put in their bag and collect it from the last episode.
[210.0s] I can as a listener.
[211.0s] Yeah, I'm like you have it in your bag.
[213.0s] No, no, no.
[215.0s] And that's just something you have to love us for.
[217.0s] You just imagine that D&D adventurers just carry around massive bags filled with everything and anything they could need.
[224.0s] But they're too tired from carrying this bag around to actually go look for that thing.
[228.0s] You'd have to have an index, like a big fat index.
[231.0s] Nobody's got the time for that.
[233.0s] Every group needs a librarian.
[235.0s] I guess so, yeah.
[236.0s] Library sciences, they're not dead.
[237.0s] We tried one with Tia, but she was ascribed.
[240.0s] She got too high.
[241.0s] No longer.
[242.0s] Yeah.
[243.0s] She just couldn't focus on it.
[244.0s] Oh well.
[245.0s] Fuck it, let's play.
[247.0s] There's a crackling fire in the center of Tiamat's lair and everybody's passing around this massive tray of scones.
[254.0s] And they're recounting the exact moment that Tiamat was thrust back down into her lair after being defeated by the Decimators of Dragons.
[266.0s] Why?
[267.0s] Yes, you see, and that's when I realized all of this anguish and the darkness and the depression, it's a cycle, right?
[279.0s] It's a cycle.
[280.0s] If I may quote Ypres' love, it all goes away.
[284.0s] Eventually, everything goes away.
[287.0s] Why, that's kind of dark.
[288.0s] Well, I mean, but more the sorrow of...
[292.0s] All the bad stuff and the good stuff.
[294.0s] It's all fleeting.
[295.0s] I guess what we need to remember.
[297.0s] Temporary.
[298.0s] And potentially all life.
[300.0s] Well, I mean, we've actually witnessed that.
[302.0s] Like, yeah, life for sure is actually temporary because we saw it all kind of disappear.
[307.0s] All basically gone.
[309.0s] But like, yeah, I was actually...
[312.0s] You're not speaking metaphorically at the moment, are you?
[315.0s] No.
[316.0s] Sorry, we lived through some shit, man.
[318.0s] I lost my eye.
[319.0s] You see Moot doesn't have an arm over there?
[321.0s] Yeah, I'm missing a hand over here.
[323.0s] An eye!
[324.0s] An eye!
[325.0s] Wait, wait, wait!
[326.0s] Save me some scones and that lovely cream.
[329.0s] And Tiamat rises up and sort of like...
[333.0s] The whole place shakes as she sort of half runs over and roots around one of her heads,
[340.0s] another one rooting in another pile, gold flying,
[343.0s] and then walks over and drops an eyeball in front of Sully.
[350.0s] And goes back to eating scones.
[352.0s] Uh, uh...
[355.0s] Oh, um...
[358.0s] What you got there, Sully?
[359.0s] Sully, like, looks around like...
[362.0s] What am I supposed to...
[363.0s] Is this...
[366.0s] Is this...
[368.0s] I don't know how to ask politely.
[370.0s] Is it clean?
[373.0s] No.
[374.0s] Is it...
[376.0s] Fleshy?
[378.0s] Or is it stony?
[379.0s] A little from the last wearer.
[381.0s] And who was the last wearer?
[384.0s] I'm not sure. It's the Eye of Vecna.
[387.0s] Sorry, hard to talk over the scones.
[390.0s] The Eye of Vecna.
[392.0s] It might help you.
[394.0s] It might be worth the cost.
[398.0s] I love the ominous sort of subtext. It's really...
[402.0s] It's kind of exciting though, too, right?
[404.0s] I know you're very good at it. It makes everything...
[406.0s] I know, it's sort of what I do.
[408.0s] I feel like you're helping me, but at the same time,
[410.0s] like, there's gonna be a consequence.
[413.0s] Is this, like, a punishment?
[415.0s] Do I deserve it?
[418.0s] I mean...
[421.0s] You just have to gouge out one of your eyes.
[423.0s] Wait, hold on, I already have no eyes.
[425.0s] Well, what's going on? So, I mean...
[427.0s] Right, there you go.
[428.0s] So, is that the cost?
[431.0s] No.
[433.0s] Well, it would be normally part of the cost.
[436.0s] Oh, gosh, so, like, there's another.
[438.0s] Like, okay.
[440.0s] Can I just put...
[442.0s] Can I think about it for a second?
[444.0s] And he picks up the eye, like...
[446.0s] And it's slippery, and he's like...
[448.0s] Okay, all right.
[450.0s] And he, like, just kind of, like, holds his eye, I guess.
[453.0s] Well, contemplating? I don't know.
[455.0s] His whole existence, I'm not sure.
[459.0s] Amy wants to...
[461.0s] Amy wants to search for the Eye of Vecna.
[464.0s] You can make an arcana...
[466.0s] No, no.
[467.0s] Oh, you won't let me search for it.
[469.0s] You don't know what they're doing with their canas.
[471.0s] You can make an arcana roll,
[473.0s] if you would like to know more about what Sully knows about the Eye of Vecna.
[476.0s] Okay, fine.
[478.0s] And then...
[480.0s] 11.
[482.0s] You know it has great magical powers.
[486.0s] Yeah, but at a cost.
[489.0s] Yes, at a cost.
[491.0s] May I ask, Tim,
[493.0s] how is it that you go about accruing a horde down here?
[498.0s] I imagine that would be more challenging.
[503.0s] It is.
[505.0s] Indeed, much more challenging.
[507.0s] But since you have given me such a beautiful feast...
[512.0s] So, uh...
[515.0s] Sometimes I lure, you know,
[519.0s] idiot knights down here that wish to conquer a dragon.
[524.0s] Other times I, you know,
[527.0s] find demons that have managed to scurry something away,
[531.0s] and the rest of it I have amassed from my brief forays into the above world.
[538.0s] Oh, and then all the tokens and payments from the Sisterhood
[542.0s] and all the dragons that serve me.
[544.0s] Oh yeah, sure, yeah.
[545.0s] Right, yeah.
[546.0s] Does that mean you can, like, you've kind of, like, snuck out a few times?
[550.0s] Is that what you're saying?
[551.0s] No, no.
[553.0s] No, I never would have snuck out for a tryst with my brother or anything like that.
[557.0s] No. No.
[559.0s] Why do I have an accent?
[562.0s] It's the scones.
[563.0s] Oh, speaking of, can you pass the butter?
[565.0s] Why?
[566.0s] For the scones.
[567.0s] Sorry, trusting is not in my nature.
[570.0s] It's okay.
[571.0s] Baby steps.
[573.0s] Yes, baby steps.
[577.0s] Someone should make a movie about that,
[579.0s] about time looping and baby steps,
[581.0s] and write a book.
[583.0s] So?
[584.0s] So if we're going to work together to overcome Orcus and I can't leave,
[588.0s] tell me what you need.
[590.0s] If I have it or I can procure it.
[593.0s] Do you have, like...
[594.0s] Someone is adding more things to my list as I sit here.
[598.0s] Shh, I see where it's typing.
[600.0s] That guy from marketing, maybe?
[603.0s] Ah, yes.
[604.0s] Sorry, back from marketing.
[606.0s] They're going to work on the Sisterhood PR.
[609.0s] We're off of that now.
[611.0s] Stop that.
[612.0s] Go and halt that.
[613.0s] We have bigger problems.
[614.0s] Orcus is bad.
[615.0s] We printed all the pamphlets.
[616.0s] We need new pamphlets.
[618.0s] I'll be right back.
[619.0s] Speaking of the Sisterhood,
[621.0s] you have amassed an amazing following.
[625.0s] Thank you.
[627.0s] Would they rise together to help defeat Orcus in your name?
[632.0s] Probably.
[633.0s] If they're not all zombies, yes.
[635.0s] Or they shouldn't be yet.
[637.0s] They will be later.
[638.0s] Currently probably.
[639.0s] I mean, a few maybe statistically speaking.
[641.0s] We're probably in some places where they've already been kind of zombified,
[645.0s] but that's a really good idea.
[647.0s] Bob, come back!
[651.0s] Yes, team.
[652.0s] Sorry.
[653.0s] Forget that last thing.
[654.0s] Write up a writ.
[655.0s] I need something.
[656.0s] A writ of something that we'll give to this team.
[664.0s] Okay, yes.
[665.0s] A writ of something that we will give to this team.
[667.0s] The Sisterhood writ in your name, Tiamat.
[671.0s] The Sisterhood of the Traveling Tiamat.
[673.0s] We are gathered here today to give a writ of something to her Lord B.
[679.0s] Praise Tiamat.
[681.0s] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[682.0s] I don't need to sit here while you do it.
[684.0s] I think it just needs like the stamp, right?
[686.0s] The seal on it.
[687.0s] Like that's official.
[688.0s] That's official.
[689.0s] Yeah, so Orcus bad.
[690.0s] Rise up.
[691.0s] Fight Orcus.
[692.0s] I mean.
[693.0s] Got it.
[694.0s] Got it.
[695.0s] Got the highlight.
[696.0s] Okay, I mean, wow.
[699.0s] That was a really productive suggestion, Sully.
[701.0s] Like I feel like we just got some pretty powerful allies.
[707.0s] If I know anything about Tiamat.
[710.0s] We probably should point out that everything they've tried to do has failed horribly.
[713.0s] Well, but they got close.
[715.0s] They sure did.
[717.0s] Like so close.
[718.0s] I mean.
[719.0s] I was just a wee one when that was happening, of course.
[722.0s] But yeah, like impressive.
[725.0s] And.
[726.0s] Yes, I remember.
[727.0s] So of insight.
[728.0s] Well, you don't have many babies in the ranks.
[731.0s] I just, yeah.
[734.0s] Probably more than you think.
[736.0s] Yes.
[738.0s] Well, that makes.
[739.0s] That makes me sad.
[740.0s] Yeah.
[742.0s] Was that an innuendo?
[744.0s] Oh, like so many people are fucking and then they're having babies.
[747.0s] Why?
[748.0s] Oh my goodness, I didn't even.
[750.0s] No, in the sisterhood.
[752.0s] Part of your oath is you give up like physical connections with others.
[758.0s] Because how can you focus on adoring Tiamat and serving and your purpose to her if you're off like fucking other people?
[766.0s] Fair enough.
[767.0s] I am thinking of changing that since reading this many copies of this book.
[770.0s] Yeah, no.
[771.0s] Everyone deserves to find love.
[773.0s] Yeah.
[774.0s] I think physical pleasure is pretty important to just like keeping, you know, your cult motivated.
[779.0s] Good mental health.
[780.0s] But good to move past too, right?
[782.0s] Because that was the eat phase.
[784.0s] You don't let it control you, right?
[787.0s] Right, right, yes.
[788.0s] Speaking of eating though, these scones are amazing.
[791.0s] Thank you, Agoth.
[792.0s] I'm glad you like them.
[795.0s] Please give one to Rex.
[797.0s] Do horses eat scones?
[799.0s] He is omnivorous in his appetites.
[802.0s] I was serious about the wings.
[803.0s] Would you like wings?
[804.0s] Would Rex like wings?
[806.0s] Can you communicate with them?
[808.0s] Rex, do you want wings?
[813.0s] He wouldn't be opposed to wings.
[815.0s] It would have made the bridge ordeal much simpler.
[818.0s] Bob, come back!
[820.0s] Probably help him get over his fear of heights too, right?
[823.0s] Like little bit by little bit.
[824.0s] He'd find freedom and joy in heights instead.
[826.0s] Because he could never fall now because he's got his wings.
[829.0s] And the radius of the acid spray would be much wider.
[833.0s] Oh, so much better.
[834.0s] Imagine that falling down on a wall.
[837.0s] Okay, Ritz almost ready, Tiamat.
[840.0s] Yes, put in a call to Arthraxix, the third circle of hell.
[844.0s] Tell him Tiamat's calling in the favor and I want his ring of the Pegasi.
[850.0s] Right, ring of the Pegasi.
[851.0s] Pegasi, I've got it.
[852.0s] Go right, go in, or talk to Arthrax.
[853.0s] Oh, I still owe him some money.
[855.0s] I'm going to have to settle that up.
[856.0s] I'll figure it out.
[857.0s] Don't worry about it.
[858.0s] Okay.
[861.0s] Does he always say, like, hop, hop, hop every time he runs?
[864.0s] Yes, yes, yes.
[865.0s] It's very annoying, but I've gone through so much help.
[869.0s] He gets the job done now.
[870.0s] So what else can I do to help you, anyone?
[873.0s] What else do I have?
[874.0s] I have so much.
[875.0s] Would you be able...
[876.0s] Oh, here.
[877.0s] Here, does anybody want a plus five spatula?
[881.0s] It has a name engraved on it.
[883.0s] Oh, Moot, I think.
[884.0s] I can't read it.
[885.0s] It's my eyesight.
[886.0s] It's so small.
[887.0s] I can take a look at it.
[889.0s] Tiamat, would you be able to tell me more about this Eye of Vekna?
[893.0s] Oh, I thought I was handing...
[894.0s] I thought you were asking about the spatula.
[896.0s] Sorry.
[897.0s] No, that's all right.
[898.0s] That seems like...
[899.0s] That's quite the thing you got down here, though.
[901.0s] Like, the eye, I was like, yeah, but spatula?
[904.0s] Wow.
[905.0s] Out of left field.
[906.0s] Moot, you have the spatula.
[908.0s] You can see that it says Beefy Stew's OG spatula.
[913.0s] Okay.
[915.0s] I'm just gonna...
[916.0s] I'm gonna, like, put that in my belt.
[918.0s] Is it okay if I just have that?
[920.0s] Yes, yes.
[921.0s] I have no use for a plus five spatula.
[924.0s] About this eye, is that...
[928.0s] You know, it's the end of the world and stuff,
[931.0s] so I think I might...
[933.0s] You'll just go for it, but, like...
[936.0s] Will I just be able to see out of it again
[938.0s] or am I gonna, like, grow a tail?
[940.0s] I'm just kinda...
[943.0s] way in my options here.
[947.0s] You're not gonna tell me, Aya.
[949.0s] It's gonna be a...
[951.0s] I thought you were asking your friend Moot.
[953.0s] Oh, no, sorry.
[954.0s] I was asking you, Tiamat.
[955.0s] No, yeah.
[956.0s] No, it's all right.
[957.0s] There's so many scones.
[958.0s] I was so infatuated with parsing out this clotted cream,
[960.0s] so it was the right amount for every scone left,
[963.0s] because I was thinking how sad it would be
[965.0s] if I got the last scone and we had run out
[967.0s] of the clotted cream.
[968.0s] It's so good.
[969.0s] Well, after eating it all this time, too,
[970.0s] the scone would seem dry at the end, you know?
[972.0s] So you really do.
[973.0s] You want it at the end.
[974.0s] Yes, yes.
[975.0s] Sorry, you were asking about the eye.
[977.0s] Yeah.
[978.0s] Oh, a favor.
[980.0s] Are you asking a favor of me, Solventslap?
[982.0s] Oh, I was...
[983.0s] Beyond what I've already given you.
[984.0s] No, ma'am.
[986.0s] Everybody can not roll arcana or history.
[990.0s] Oh, gross, I'm already Sullivan,
[992.0s] and just ask the favor.
[994.0s] I know, but favors aren't just favors.
[997.0s] Oh, do you?
[998.0s] Uh, 23.
[1000.0s] Shit!
[1001.0s] 10.
[1002.0s] Well.
[1003.0s] One.
[1004.0s] Ah!
[1006.0s] Christus.
[1007.0s] I have a plus.
[1008.0s] It's totally safe, Agatha.
[1009.0s] Plus nine to history.
[1010.0s] It's totally safe.
[1011.0s] Looks great.
[1013.0s] Glam will give you some knowledge,
[1015.0s] and you can dispense it however you so choose.
[1018.0s] Freely.
[1020.0s] Probably in a wrap.
[1021.0s] Let's just see.
[1022.0s] Oh, yes, please.
[1024.0s] I've learned about this.
[1025.0s] How does it go?
[1026.0s] That's how I drop knowledge.
[1028.0s] Typically.
[1046.0s] Okay, so Eye of Vecna, I definitely, like,
[1048.0s] wrote an essay or something about this.
[1053.0s] Pros.
[1054.0s] There's lots of pros.
[1055.0s] I mean, truly, you'll get true sight.
[1059.0s] You'll learn some extra magic.
[1061.0s] I mean, it's...
[1062.0s] Magic?
[1063.0s] I don't know any magic.
[1064.0s] You'll be able to kind of see through things.
[1067.0s] I see through people's clothes.
[1070.0s] Hey, can I have the eye?
[1071.0s] I'll gouge out my eye if that's just...
[1073.0s] No?
[1074.0s] Bad story.
[1075.0s] Keep going.
[1076.0s] So, I mean, yeah, I would recommend not using it
[1079.0s] for, like, weird sexual inappropriateness.
[1084.0s] Heard.
[1085.0s] And Flammie Kins, you know better.
[1086.0s] You would love consent, so I don't know...
[1088.0s] Yeah, well, it's that whole CNC,
[1091.0s] consensual non-consent thing.
[1092.0s] You know, you enter in a relationship,
[1094.0s] you can see from a distance.
[1095.0s] Right, okay.
[1096.0s] Yeah, so fine.
[1097.0s] It's all about points.
[1098.0s] Yeah, okay.
[1099.0s] No, that makes more sense.
[1100.0s] I'm less uncomfortable with that,
[1101.0s] but also more uncomfortable with it.
[1103.0s] Wow, I just, I feel like we need to assign something.
[1106.0s] I don't know.
[1107.0s] The writ's coming.
[1108.0s] I don't think that's in the writ.
[1111.0s] Historically, whoever has had the eye,
[1115.0s] sometimes it's good,
[1117.0s] and sometimes it's very bad.
[1120.0s] So, it's possible you might become evil.
[1124.0s] What?
[1125.0s] Or, like, die.
[1126.0s] Oh my god.
[1127.0s] Evil's just a spectrum on a scale.
[1130.0s] Or your soul gets torn from your body.
[1132.0s] That sounds painful.
[1133.0s] I mean, so, on the one hand,
[1137.0s] extra super-functioning eye, pretty great.
[1141.0s] And to magic.
[1142.0s] On the other hand...
[1143.0s] Eye bite?
[1144.0s] Who hasn't wanted to bite someone with their eye?
[1146.0s] I'm sorry, you said eye bite?
[1147.0s] I'm sorry, what?
[1150.0s] Come on, am I the only one
[1152.0s] that's ever wanted to bite someone with their eye?
[1154.0s] I never thought that was an option.
[1156.0s] I never considered it, but I mean, I do.
[1160.0s] Like, wait a scarred person for life, right?
[1162.0s] Does it come out and then chomp,
[1164.0s] or do you have to get your eye right up?
[1166.0s] That would be quite the thing.
[1168.0s] Or is it like a nipple?
[1169.0s] Do you just nibble them like a piranha?
[1171.0s] Are there teeth on the inside of your eyelids,
[1173.0s] and when you give them a butterfly kiss,
[1175.0s] instead you're tearing a hole in their flesh?
[1178.0s] Maybe I'm just gonna hold onto this eye for a minute
[1181.0s] and really mull it over
[1182.0s] and take some time to think about it.
[1185.0s] Thank you, Tiamat.
[1186.0s] Oh, you're most welcome for this quandary.
[1189.0s] I feel like we definitely need help,
[1192.0s] and we definitely need to ask you for help in specific ways,
[1197.0s] but sort of those specific ways are not coming to me.
[1203.0s] Well, Tiamat, if your horde here
[1207.0s] has things as powerful as the Eye of Vecna
[1212.0s] and a plus five spatula,
[1214.0s] your horde back on the Material Plane
[1219.0s] must be staggering.
[1221.0s] Well, not so.
[1222.0s] I mean, not that I...
[1223.0s] No, this is all of it right here.
[1225.0s] This is it.
[1226.0s] This is all I have right here.
[1228.0s] Is there anything there that could aid us
[1233.0s] in serving your justice to Orcus?
[1240.0s] Maybe anything specifically
[1241.0s] that will help Agath punch Orcus in the face.
[1244.0s] She really wants to punch him.
[1246.0s] I really need to punch him in his terrible face.
[1250.0s] Right in the face.
[1251.0s] It does seem like maybe you know him a little bit,
[1254.0s] kind of made a deal or whatever,
[1255.0s] so you might have some good inside knowledge
[1259.0s] about, you know, like weaknesses.
[1262.0s] Give me personal information.
[1263.0s] We could really hit him up.
[1265.0s] Yes.
[1268.0s] Yes.
[1269.0s] Exactly the kind of thing I'm wondering about.
[1272.0s] You know, take him down emotionally
[1275.0s] before Agath punches him in the face to death.
[1277.0s] I want Agath to punch him so hard in the face,
[1281.0s] but also I want him to be really sad.
[1284.0s] Let's punch him in the soul at the same time.
[1287.0s] That's right.
[1288.0s] Emotionally devastate him.
[1289.0s] Yes. Yes.
[1291.0s] Agath, I don't know what I have to give you
[1294.0s] aside from just getting you there,
[1296.0s] but since you have spoken so much truth
[1301.0s] and given me all of these scones,
[1303.0s] warm scones unlike my useless brother,
[1308.0s] whose idea it was to meet with Orcus in the first place,
[1312.0s] lovely man, has ideas on how to solve our problems.
[1317.0s] Idiot.
[1319.0s] I do have a small trinket named after me.
[1326.0s] I believe it is a flail.
[1329.0s] Can you use a flail, Agath?
[1332.0s] I have been known to flail.
[1342.0s] I think that was an innuendo.
[1347.0s] Tiamat turns to one of the dragons and says,
[1350.0s] go to you-know-where that shall not be spoken
[1352.0s] and bring back the flail of Tiamat at once.
[1354.0s] Yes, sir.
[1355.0s] I'll go get the flail of Tiamat.
[1357.0s] No, not you.
[1358.0s] You're an idiot.
[1359.0s] You.
[1360.0s] Yes.
[1361.0s] Yes.
[1362.0s] Go.
[1363.0s] Of course, mass mistress.
[1365.0s] I hail Hydra.
[1367.0s] Just go.
[1370.0s] Tiamat, your dragon sort of crew or council,
[1374.0s] they're so intimidating.
[1375.0s] They're so cool.
[1376.0s] And look so great, but definitely, like,
[1379.0s] it is so much better if they just don't speak, eh?
[1383.0s] Yes, I know.
[1384.0s] They've worked so hard.
[1386.0s] Like, they're so intimidating.
[1388.0s] We dress them up.
[1389.0s] Until they open their mouths, and then it's just like,
[1391.0s] what?
[1392.0s] It's like we're dressing a turd.
[1394.0s] Putting lipstick on a pig, am I right?
[1396.0s] Yes.
[1397.0s] Yeah.
[1398.0s] Pigs are quite smart in comparison.
[1400.0s] Oh, fair, yeah.
[1402.0s] Pigs are actually quite smart.
[1403.0s] Did you know that?
[1404.0s] I see it's like a three-year-old?
[1406.0s] Like a three-year-old human?
[1408.0s] Here's the flail.
[1409.0s] No, my dragons are.
[1411.0s] Yes.
[1412.0s] That was really fast.
[1414.0s] It was just over there.
[1416.0s] Oh.
[1417.0s] It's up on the high shelf.
[1419.0s] Just give it to the silent one.
[1421.0s] Didn't he just say this is the place we should not name?
[1426.0s] It's the only thing there.
[1427.0s] It's okay.
[1428.0s] Agath will take the flail.
[1430.0s] You will notice there is five heads,
[1433.0s] each shaped like one of mine.
[1436.0s] Yes.
[1437.0s] Badly.
[1439.0s] You will need to give it a command,
[1442.0s] a word, and each breath will breathe as I do.
[1445.0s] Is it gonna be punch?
[1446.0s] Wait.
[1447.0s] What's it gonna be?
[1448.0s] Yeah.
[1449.0s] What's the cool thing gonna be?
[1450.0s] It's a little less punching and a little more acid,
[1453.0s] flame, whatever spray.
[1454.0s] Like murder.
[1458.0s] Tiamat's the best.
[1460.0s] It's one word.
[1461.0s] Just one word.
[1462.0s] Say it really quickly without pausing.
[1464.0s] Tiamat's the best.
[1465.0s] I think she means the word is acid.
[1468.0s] Or fire, or cold.
[1471.0s] Yes?
[1472.0s] Yes.
[1473.0s] Whichever word you wish to give it.
[1474.0s] Oh, any word you wish to give it.
[1477.0s] Spiral spaghetti.
[1479.0s] What?
[1480.0s] Why would you say that?
[1481.0s] It's still two words,
[1482.0s] and I think that's rotini.
[1484.0s] Oh, rotini.
[1485.0s] Thank you.
[1486.0s] I think we should let Agath choose it.
[1488.0s] I thought we were brainstorming.
[1490.0s] It's her weapon.
[1492.0s] There's probably a quote.
[1493.0s] I'll look for one.
[1494.0s] Never mind me.
[1495.0s] We should be brainstorming
[1497.0s] and probably what we should be brainstorming is what we do.
[1499.0s] Like, okay.
[1500.0s] Oh, yes.
[1501.0s] So we've got maybe the Sisterhood backing us up.
[1504.0s] Rad weapon, scary eye, cool spatula.
[1508.0s] What else do we need to save the world?
[1511.0s] You need to do better than those idiots,
[1513.0s] decimators of dragoons or whatever they're called.
[1517.0s] Right?
[1518.0s] They're so stupid.
[1519.0s] Let me show you.
[1521.0s] And Tiamat turns,
[1525.0s] and one of her heads pulls from her throne
[1530.0s] a very dainty ivory decorated mirror
[1535.0s] with irises all over it
[1539.0s] and drops it on the center of the table.
[1544.0s] Well, that's pretty.
[1545.0s] A mirror of future sight.
[1547.0s] But annoyingly, it only shows one thing.
[1552.0s] What does it show?
[1553.0s] Like one thing each or just one thing on a loop?
[1555.0s] Like you've seen the same thing every time you look into it.
[1558.0s] Why don't you look and find out?
[1560.0s] Well, I'm scared.
[1561.0s] Everybody hesitantly huddles around.
[1564.0s] You see a darkened chamber.
[1567.0s] There's a vast pit in the middle of it
[1571.0s] with these purple flames roiling up and out of it.
[1575.0s] And you see the other team entering this room,
[1580.0s] leading their way up to this large throne on the other side.
[1589.0s] Oh, this is the one where they've pretended one of them is a captor.
[1594.0s] Oh, this one's good.
[1596.0s] And as they all kneel down
[1598.0s] and Voronox is standing over them,
[1601.0s] swinging his blade, they all jump up quickly
[1605.0s] and battle ensues.
[1607.0s] And after a surprisingly brief moment,
[1611.0s] the mirror flickers and all of them lay dead on the ground.
[1618.0s] Oh, that shitty Team A just fucked it up.
[1623.0s] I mean, that's quite a...
[1624.0s] This is...
[1625.0s] But this is just like a possibility because...
[1628.0s] Oh, yes, yes.
[1629.0s] Watch again.
[1630.0s] I've been watching for eons.
[1631.0s] Watch again.
[1632.0s] Oh, this one's good.
[1633.0s] Oh, I think this is the one where they try to charge the doors.
[1637.0s] The doors burst open and arrows are flying.
[1640.0s] Spells are erupting into this illusion of Orcus on the other side who wavers.
[1650.0s] And behind them are three liches and the towering figure of Orcus.
[1655.0s] The mirror flickers again and all of them lay sprawled,
[1659.0s] thrown into the fire in the middle of the room
[1661.0s] and hanging from the rafters.
[1664.0s] Is there any outcome where they are successful?
[1672.0s] I have seen over a thousand and so far the answer is no.
[1677.0s] Is that because we hadn't talked to you yet?
[1681.0s] Oh, because now we're talking to you,
[1683.0s] so that's going to change things because, you know,
[1685.0s] butterfly wings and the...
[1686.0s] Oh, let's watch the mirror.
[1688.0s] Right.
[1691.0s] Oh, they're dying again.
[1693.0s] The door opens again and Varanok steps in alone
[1700.0s] and the mirror shows an image of everyone else trying to sneak around
[1706.0s] and a large explosion goes off from behind and flickers again
[1710.0s] and they all lay, not all of them, some of them are in pieces.
[1715.0s] This one's one of my favorites where they think they can scurry in like rats
[1719.0s] while Varnax distracts Orcus.
[1722.0s] But there's so many variations.
[1724.0s] I love the ones where they come in tied up like they're captives.
[1728.0s] So you've been watching a lot of game tape,
[1730.0s] so do you have any sort of feedback?
[1734.0s] Like, how would you do it?
[1735.0s] I mean, you know, that we can communicate with them.
[1736.0s] Yeah, let's play Monday morning quarterback here.
[1738.0s] Yeah, like, what do you think?
[1740.0s] Well, early on I was shouting, you know?
[1742.0s] I was like, shouting, no, don't do that!
[1744.0s] Gaze behind you!
[1745.0s] Do you have that kind of thing?
[1746.0s] Yeah, but after a while it just...
[1749.0s] There is no hope.
[1750.0s] It is endless.
[1753.0s] We are seeing every possibility in this mirror of the future
[1758.0s] and for a while I couldn't understand why it was playing the same thing,
[1761.0s] but now I can for Orcus is ending everything.
[1764.0s] So this is it.
[1765.0s] This is all the mirror will show.
[1769.0s] Oh, okay.
[1775.0s] I feel like I took the mood down.
[1777.0s] Oh, no, that's all right.
[1778.0s] You know what?
[1779.0s] We need some hot truths.
[1781.0s] Reality checks are good.
[1783.0s] Yeah, I mean, obviously these...
[1787.0s] I feel bad because these scones were amazing.
[1789.0s] No, no, these future versions of these people.
[1791.0s] You know what?
[1792.0s] We need to have a positive...
[1793.0s] Bob, where's that ring?
[1796.0s] I got the ring, I got the ring, I got the ring.
[1800.0s] Okay, okay, I had to do a lot of things.
[1804.0s] Oh, shut up, just give me the ring.
[1806.0s] Here's the ring.
[1807.0s] Don't worry about it.
[1808.0s] I'll talk to the therapist later.
[1811.0s] Do you guys have like in-office counseling?
[1813.0s] That's really great.
[1814.0s] That's really progressive.
[1815.0s] I was just going to say so progressive.
[1818.0s] That wasn't around when I was part of it.
[1821.0s] Tiamat usually eats them after,
[1824.0s] but that way they can't spill the secrets.
[1827.0s] Still a free benefit.
[1828.0s] Of course.
[1829.0s] That's right.
[1830.0s] You complaining?
[1831.0s] Get out of here.
[1832.0s] We're still working on the writ.
[1833.0s] I'm going to go see if Martha's got it wrapped up.
[1835.0s] I'll be right back.
[1837.0s] And Tiamat picks up the ring in her mouth,
[1841.0s] one of them, and drops it in front of Agatha.
[1845.0s] It has one use, and it will transform Rex,
[1850.0s] if they are willing to have wings like a Pegasi.
[1855.0s] Do I wear it, or does he need to put it on a hoof?
[1860.0s] It is a single use if you point it at Rex,
[1863.0s] and they are willing.
[1864.0s] What, will it keep the wings forever?
[1866.0s] Until they're hacked off by Orcus, yes.
[1869.0s] Well, now we are hoping that that's not going to happen.
[1872.0s] What if...
[1876.0s] Okay, so is...
[1878.0s] Listen, time's really hot.
[1880.0s] Like, it's so confusing.
[1882.0s] Is what's happening in the mirror possibly happening right now?
[1886.0s] Or is it showing us, because it's in the future,
[1889.0s] could we send some of the Sisterhood?
[1892.0s] Like, what if it wasn't just them and there was backup?
[1897.0s] I have not seen Sisterhood in anything to date.
[1900.0s] Oh, we have not yet.
[1901.0s] But it is showing the future.
[1903.0s] The writ isn't written yet,
[1905.0s] I mean, it's not happening yet, officially.
[1909.0s] Maybe you should take the mirror,
[1910.0s] because I don't want to watch the Sisterhood
[1912.0s] being murdered thousands of times.
[1914.0s] Oh, I don't want to watch...
[1916.0s] I don't really want to watch anyone
[1918.0s] being murdered thousands of times.
[1920.0s] Maybe Orcus, I mean...
[1922.0s] I would like to see Orcus dying at least once.
[1925.0s] Yeah.
[1928.0s] If we manage it, we'll try and come back
[1931.0s] with more scones and fill you in.
[1934.0s] And maybe the skull of Orcus.
[1936.0s] I...
[1938.0s] do not take promises like that lightly, Agoth.
[1941.0s] I know.
[1942.0s] I said I'd try.
[1943.0s] I will try.
[1945.0s] Farewell.
[1946.0s] If I survive punching him in the face.
[1948.0s] You will, Goth, I believe in you.
[1960.0s] Dashing through the middle
[1962.0s] We're gonna have some fun
[1964.0s] It's December now
[1966.0s] And somebody's gonna have fun
[1968.0s] Right, we're gonna rhyme fun in fun?
[1970.0s] Yeah, we were doing it.
[1972.0s] It's not a rhyme podcast,
[1974.0s] so like, that's fine.
[1976.0s] I wasn't gonna go for Christmas at all.
[1978.0s] Well, it's December now.
[1979.0s] Yeah, well, it is.
[1981.0s] I was gonna hit up some Jimmy Eat World,
[1983.0s] but not the song you'd think it was gonna be.
[1985.0s] Well, because we've already done the middle several times.
[1987.0s] So it was gonna be...
[1989.0s] What's their other song?
[1991.0s] My favorite Jimmy Eat World song.
[1993.0s] Is it Sweetness?
[1995.0s] Yeah, it is.
[1997.0s] This Meandering Middle is brought to you by...
[1999.0s] Game Time this month!
[2001.0s] Oh, Game Time!
[2003.0s] Game Time bringing all the fun this month,
[2005.0s] and we've got a very special Game Time
[2007.0s] in that...
[2009.0s] It's a reduced price for the holidays!
[2011.0s] Happy Holidays!
[2013.0s] Also, real talk,
[2015.0s] shit's expensive right now.
[2017.0s] Like, literally everything
[2019.0s] except...
[2021.0s] Game Time.
[2023.0s] What's the regular price?
[2025.0s] $100.
[2027.0s] Per person?
[2029.0s] $60.
[2031.0s] $320.
[2033.0s] 40% off for Game Time,
[2035.0s] per player in the Game Time tier,
[2037.0s] Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast,
[2039.0s] and there's an even more special thing happening!
[2041.0s] I'd love a good, and wait, there's more.
[2043.0s] I'm all about the, but wait, there's more.
[2045.0s] So not only have we reduced the price for Game Time,
[2047.0s] but it works for your holiday budget,
[2049.0s] because we know everything's wild and crazy,
[2051.0s] but we're also opening extra slots!
[2053.0s] Extra slots? How many people can play now?
[2055.0s] A total of eight!
[2057.0s] Damn.
[2059.0s] Up to eight people can play in Game Time,
[2061.0s] and then now you're saying, but Russ,
[2063.0s] there's eight people at the table.
[2065.0s] It's a lot to wrangle.
[2067.0s] It's a lot of shenanigans happening.
[2069.0s] I've been there, I've done that,
[2071.0s] it's a lot to wrangle,
[2073.0s] but what we're doing is a very special
[2075.0s] game that we get to play together,
[2077.0s] and we get to have a lot of fun together,
[2079.0s] but then this game is going to break out into two games
[2081.0s] happening simultaneously.
[2083.0s] The time stream split!
[2085.0s] You're splitting the party?
[2087.0s] Of course the time stream split.
[2089.0s] What else could Russ do?
[2091.0s] The time stream split, and probably go into a maze,
[2093.0s] you guys, let's be honest with one another.
[2095.0s] Trace yourselves.
[2097.0s] It's the wildest idea that everybody said yes to
[2099.0s] before we hit record.
[2101.0s] Now they're acting very cool,
[2103.0s] so we're going to split.
[2105.0s] We're going to do two separate games,
[2107.0s] and then we're going to come back together for whatever
[2109.0s] the grand finale of this session is.
[2111.0s] So it might be a little bit longer,
[2113.0s] but it's going to be a whole lot of fun,
[2115.0s] because there's going to be so many people at the table,
[2117.0s] and a lot of people, hopefully, will get to
[2119.0s] come play with us, which is what we really want
[2121.0s] this holiday season, and want to try and make it
[2123.0s] as affordable as possible for you.
[2125.0s] Treat yourself.
[2127.0s] Yeah, treat yourself, please.
[2129.0s] Because so many people say they want to come play,
[2131.0s] it's too expensive, and like, yo, forget it.
[2133.0s] But this is less, and you deserve it.
[2137.0s] So come play with us.
[2139.0s] It's going to be fun.
[2141.0s] We can't wait.
[2143.0s] All the details are updated on Patreon.
[2145.0s] Patreon.com slash Dumb Dragon Cast.
[2147.0s] The spots are open, the price has been lowered,
[2151.0s] and we can't wait to play with you.
[2153.0s] If you have any questions,
[2155.0s] please feel free to message us in the Discord,
[2157.0s] or send us a note on Patreon,
[2159.0s] social media, we'll check it, we'll answer them,
[2161.0s] and we hope to see you at the table.
[2163.0s] Okay, now let's get back to Tiamat
[2165.0s] giving out sweet prizes
[2167.0s] in our episode.
[2169.0s] Can I ask just
[2171.0s] sort of an awkward question?
[2173.0s] Did you have like a face-to-face
[2175.0s] meeting with Orcus, and if so,
[2177.0s] was he clothed?
[2179.0s] Yes, we had many meetings with Orcus.
[2181.0s] Mostly clothed.
[2183.0s] Okay. Okay, I was just curious,
[2185.0s] because I heard a rumor
[2187.0s] about, it's fine, it doesn't matter.
[2189.0s] I don't like seeing this,
[2191.0s] because now, like, when in this one-
[2193.0s] Your Bahamut does throw quite the party, though.
[2195.0s] Yeah, I can see that.
[2197.0s] I can see that.
[2199.0s] Like keys in the bowl kind of part.
[2201.0s] What?
[2203.0s] I mean, I think he probably would have been down
[2205.0s] to clown. Is that-
[2207.0s] Yeah, it just didn't-
[2209.0s] Son of a bitch, missed opportunity.
[2211.0s] It's okay, we're going to save the world
[2213.0s] to have another chance.
[2215.0s] Help me now!
[2217.0s] God, your optimism is awesome.
[2219.0s] Glim, I just-
[2221.0s] Hopefully-
[2223.0s] So, I've given the eye
[2225.0s] to you, Sullivan.
[2227.0s] Thank you so much, thank you.
[2229.0s] I have given repay to Goth.
[2231.0s] What about you two?
[2233.0s] Is there anything you desire,
[2235.0s] aside from a spatula?
[2237.0s] I mean, the spatula's pretty great.
[2239.0s] It is a plus five.
[2241.0s] Yeah, yeah.
[2243.0s] Cook off.
[2245.0s] With Orcus.
[2247.0s] I do see that that's how this is all going to end.
[2249.0s] So...
[2251.0s] You know, it's happened a couple times.
[2253.0s] Wait, have you seen a cook off version?
[2255.0s] Like a great
[2257.0s] British bake show kind of vibe?
[2259.0s] I have not seen the
[2261.0s] Decimator of Dragoon's attempt to cook off.
[2263.0s] No. But I don't think it would go well.
[2265.0s] Well, not with the liches.
[2267.0s] Plus five spatula.
[2269.0s] True.
[2271.0s] I'm going to check to see if there's a quote for this one.
[2273.0s] Um, we- we are down here
[2275.0s] right now.
[2277.0s] And then once the writ is written,
[2279.0s] uh, we'll-
[2281.0s] Just a few more minutes!
[2283.0s] Yeah, no, I wasn't rushing you.
[2285.0s] I wanted it done the right way.
[2287.0s] Like, these jabronis, am I right?
[2289.0s] Like, my god.
[2291.0s] I'm sorry you're stuck here down here with them.
[2293.0s] Thank you.
[2295.0s] Maybe things were different.
[2297.0s] Anyway, I digress.
[2299.0s] Will we take- how do we get
[2301.0s] the writ to
[2303.0s] the sisterhood?
[2305.0s] Because we're down here.
[2309.0s] Oh, that's a- I'm- wow.
[2311.0s] Sully, thank- thank Bahamut for you
[2313.0s] because, really, um, how do we
[2315.0s] even get out of here? I mean, that's a-
[2317.0s] Yeah, great question. That's a great question.
[2319.0s] I'm not itching to leave, I mean-
[2321.0s] No! No, you wouldn't be, no.
[2323.0s] But at the same- at the same time,
[2325.0s] uh, the- there's- there's
[2327.0s] a punchin' of orcuses to be done.
[2329.0s] Am I right, Agoth?
[2331.0s] Yeah, you just use the other
[2333.0s] tunnel.
[2335.0s] Oh, the one that says exit.
[2337.0s] Yes. Oh, wow.
[2339.0s] The one that says
[2341.0s] to orcus, actually.
[2343.0s] Oh, to orc- wow.
[2345.0s] Well, hold on a second. I don't-
[2347.0s] do we want to go to orcus right away?
[2349.0s] Or do we want to, like, gather the troops?
[2351.0s] I don't see another tunnel.
[2353.0s] He had it put in so he could meet with us.
[2355.0s] Cause, like, he might-
[2357.0s] Self-send him much? Yeah.
[2359.0s] And wait, did this tunnel go, like, right
[2361.0s] to his lair, or was it, like,
[2363.0s] a neutral ground that you guys were meeting?
[2365.0s] Or his bedroom? He's-
[2367.0s] He's come here.
[2369.0s] I've never been able-
[2371.0s] Let's back up a little. Oh, right, of course.
[2373.0s] I cannot leave. Right, of course.
[2375.0s] So I've been unable to traverse the tunnel,
[2377.0s] so we have met here.
[2379.0s] Right.
[2381.0s] Always having to host?
[2383.0s] Yes.
[2385.0s] Without scones!
[2387.0s] That's a lot- that's an imposition.
[2389.0s] It's a burden, for sure.
[2391.0s] Yeah. That's not cool.
[2393.0s] And after you've given, you know,
[2395.0s] someone five copies
[2397.0s] of the book, it's really not a great
[2399.0s] party gift anymore. Yeah, enough.
[2401.0s] I bet he's not even getting
[2403.0s] out of everything you could be,
[2405.0s] you know? Like, really doing
[2407.0s] some soul searching or whatever, but-
[2409.0s] Yes. So,
[2411.0s] what if, though, we don't want to go right
[2413.0s] to Orcus, but we need
[2415.0s] to gather the
[2417.0s] tr- or is the writ going to be
[2419.0s] distributed? Is it, like, a pamphlet
[2421.0s] and it's going to have all the instructions?
[2423.0s] Like, I'm not sure what they're working on right now.
[2425.0s] Or is there, like- or they, like,
[2427.0s] psychically tell
[2429.0s] everyone in the cult
[2431.0s] sisterhood
[2433.0s] about, um, like,
[2435.0s] you're really powerful. Can you do
[2437.0s] that? So, what are the communication
[2439.0s] lines? Is it the PR department?
[2441.0s] Yeah. Or, like, do you have an official
[2443.0s] Twitter account? Yeah, is that a- is that a
[2445.0s] new thing? I don't remember that. Got that
[2447.0s] blue checkmark? Now, we-
[2449.0s] we create many copies of writs
[2451.0s] and we send them up through
[2453.0s] the postal service.
[2457.0s] I like the pneumatic tubes. You got
[2459.0s] those? Okay. No. Okay,
[2461.0s] I got the writ everybody. Donkeys. Oh,
[2463.0s] fair. Yeah. We need
[2465.0s] five thousand copies distributed
[2467.0s] everywhere. Okay, can we get the signatures
[2469.0s] on the writs first and then I can go make
[2471.0s] carbon copies? Yeah, you just- I'm not going to write
[2473.0s] five thousand. Just go sign them. Yeah, no, no. Okay,
[2475.0s] everybody just sign- sign your name
[2477.0s] at the bottom of the- Yes. At the bottom
[2479.0s] of the writ. Uh, uh,
[2481.0s] Tiamat, uh- And Tiamat slams
[2483.0s] one of their claws down
[2485.0s] on it. Let's see, Tiamat's in on it too. Uh,
[2487.0s] Tiamat, ruler of the-
[2489.0s] this area right now, but
[2491.0s] hopefully a little bit beyond
[2493.0s] afterwards. Uh, you're going to go
[2495.0s] shut down Orcus. Uh,
[2497.0s] this is going to be a lot of people that come and
[2499.0s] help. A lot of- a lot of people,
[2501.0s] a lot of dragons, a lot of-
[2503.0s] It's a real wordy writ, isn't it?
[2505.0s] Well, Martha's about just getting all of the
[2507.0s] details down and in there and I was
[2509.0s] just kind of- I was really
[2511.0s] just tied up with the whole Pegasus
[2513.0s] ring thing. Anyways,
[2515.0s] uh, but it's all in there.
[2517.0s] Everything that you wanted was
[2519.0s] in there. It's in there. Just sign your- sign your
[2521.0s] name. Don't worry about that last
[2523.0s] little part. Hold on a second. We don't-
[2525.0s] I am no-
[2527.0s] in no- I have no authority
[2529.0s] to- Affiliation.
[2531.0s] Well- By approximation.
[2533.0s] Bob, you have
[2535.0s] five seconds before I rip you
[2537.0s] in from limb. We are not here
[2539.0s] to trick them. We are here to help them
[2541.0s] destroy Orcus. I'll remove the- I'll remove the
[2543.0s] appendix. What was at the bottom?
[2545.0s] I'm just curious. Yeah, what was-
[2547.0s] Just for curiosity. I mean, we don't sign things.
[2549.0s] There we go.
[2551.0s] Wow, is this something that's just automatically
[2553.0s] put to the bottom like you owe your soul to the-
[2555.0s] Yes, I apologize. It's standard, yes.
[2557.0s] Fair enough. Yeah, no, I do remember that.
[2559.0s] I'll get you too. You gotta
[2561.0s] really- you gotta read it.
[2563.0s] You gotta read it all, cause it's on you.
[2565.0s] It's on you if you sign it. Well, you can still back out
[2567.0s] before you kill a friend, but yes.
[2569.0s] Yeah. Sometimes, though,
[2571.0s] they'll just capture the person that you love and just
[2573.0s] hold them in a cell. It's fine.
[2575.0s] Okay, so we got the-
[2577.0s] we got the- we got the
[2579.0s] things. You guys didn't say that you wanted
[2581.0s] something. Alright, Moot.
[2583.0s] This is for you, and Tiamat
[2585.0s] drags a very
[2587.0s] ancient
[2589.0s] marred battle
[2591.0s] worn shield and
[2593.0s] drops it on the table and-
[2595.0s] Moot. Ooh.
[2597.0s] I feel like you'll relate to
[2599.0s] this in some weird existential way.
[2601.0s] Like he puts up lots of walls
[2603.0s] and doesn't let many people in?
[2605.0s] More like there's an entity stuck
[2607.0s] in the shield. Oh yeah, I'll get along great
[2609.0s] with it then.
[2611.0s] Oh, that's very literal. I believe their
[2613.0s] name is Gargoth.
[2615.0s] Be careful when you let them out.
[2617.0s] Noted. And what about you, Glim?
[2619.0s] Well, I mean,
[2621.0s] I feel like- Worshipper of my idiot
[2623.0s] brother.
[2625.0s] Yeah.
[2627.0s] Learned a lot of things about
[2629.0s] my beloved
[2631.0s] Bahamut recently.
[2633.0s] But
[2635.0s] I'm gonna say still, still
[2637.0s] a big fan.
[2639.0s] Although I've now added
[2641.0s] big fan of Tiamat. Which is an
[2643.0s] unexpected turn because-
[2645.0s] You gotta stay fLexible, right?
[2647.0s] I mean, the five heads, the whole thing,
[2649.0s] you're dealing with all these people.
[2651.0s] Like, it's, it's really
[2653.0s] it's really something. I mean,
[2655.0s] you've got us the sisterhood.
[2657.0s] It's a lot.
[2659.0s] I'll give you this.
[2661.0s] Then.
[2663.0s] My brother is an idiot.
[2665.0s] But
[2667.0s] he believes
[2669.0s] he believes
[2671.0s] that the world can be a
[2673.0s] better place.
[2675.0s] Of course it can. I mean, literally
[2677.0s] it's pretty bad right now, so
[2679.0s] definitely. And I'll give you this
[2681.0s] horn. You can blow
[2683.0s] it once in a time of need.
[2685.0s] And any dragon who hears,
[2687.0s] if they can, will
[2689.0s] come to you. I don't know what will happen
[2691.0s] if they are undead, for that is an
[2693.0s] abomination that should not exist.
[2695.0s] But perhaps it will
[2697.0s] work there too.
[2699.0s] But they should come to your aid.
[2701.0s] Thank you. That's
[2703.0s] wow. That's pretty cool.
[2705.0s] That's really super cool.
[2707.0s] And what do you got for me?
[2711.0s] Anything good? Five minutes in the
[2713.0s] back room.
[2715.0s] We'll wait. Alright.
[2717.0s] Enjoy your scones,
[2719.0s] everybody. And I will
[2721.0s] see you in a minute.
[2727.0s] Um, so
[2729.0s] that just happened.
[2731.0s] Yeah,
[2733.0s] I don't, I'm, we should
[2735.0s] I didn't expect it. Should we make lots of
[2737.0s] noise or something? Like maybe
[2739.0s] let's talk over top of one another
[2741.0s] so nobody can hear like, let's
[2743.0s] a cacophony of something.
[2745.0s] I'm really not entirely
[2747.0s] sure if I should put these eyeballs in. I really don't know.
[2749.0s] I should definitely think we should probably.
[2751.0s] I mean if I just dig in this gold
[2753.0s] it'll make quite a bit of noise and I can't
[2755.0s] quite hear. Ooh, there's bubble wrap
[2757.0s] over here. Oh, thank goodness.
[2759.0s] That's good. I'm gonna just clink these
[2761.0s] plates.
[2767.0s] So that's the place you don't tell
[2769.0s] anybody about.
[2773.0s] Yeah.
[2775.0s] I feel like we all just
[2777.0s] been through something together.
[2779.0s] I think so too.
[2781.0s] I don't want to be rude
[2783.0s] but I think you all need to leave.
[2785.0s] That seems fair. I'm gonna take a nap.
[2787.0s] Yeah, fair enough.
[2789.0s] Okay, we'll just
[2791.0s] take a nap. Everybody got their
[2793.0s] things? Collect your things. I got this book.
[2795.0s] Do we go to the
[2797.0s] do we go to Orcas?
[2799.0s] Now I'm frazzled. I like I don't
[2801.0s] want to nap. There's only one way out.
[2803.0s] Who's got the...
[2805.0s] Somebody grab that mirror. I think we need the mirror.
[2807.0s] Okay, I'll put it in my back.
[2811.0s] Thank you for not eating me.
[2813.0s] And Sully bows again.
[2815.0s] Like many, many, many bows.
[2817.0s] I was never gonna eat you
[2819.0s] Sullivan Slate. Yeah, I miss you
[2821.0s] too a little bit and he walks away.
[2823.0s] Learn to believe in yourself
[2825.0s] Sullivan Slate.
[2827.0s] Yes ma'am.
[2829.0s] As messed up as you are.
[2831.0s] Is that also a quote from the book?
[2833.0s] No, but that's good.
[2835.0s] I should write that down.
[2837.0s] You should write your own book down here.
[2839.0s] Alright, get out. Let's go.
[2841.0s] Everybody turns and begins
[2843.0s] walking towards the two Orcas tunnel.
[2847.0s] You don't see it, but there's a bit of a
[2849.0s] glow in the
[2851.0s] satchel of
[2853.0s] Sullivan Slate.
[2855.0s] There's an image that appears on the mirror
[2857.0s] as you round a corner and turn
[2859.0s] and look back at Tiamat who
[2861.0s] is smoking a large Marlboro.
[2865.0s] Does she have a cigarette holder?
[2867.0s] Yeah, of course.
[2871.0s] There's one and she's moving it between
[2873.0s] them.
[2875.0s] That's right.
[2877.0s] And the scene of
[2879.0s] the other team,
[2881.0s] the Decimators of Dragons and all
[2883.0s] of their various assorted players
[2885.0s] begins to play out the door
[2887.0s] opens and they approach
[2889.0s] Orcas on his throne
[2891.0s] and battle begins and there's a
[2893.0s] flicker in the mirror.
[2895.0s] There's this bright
[2897.0s] light
[2899.0s] that appears.
[2901.0s] And the picture goes dark.
[2917.0s] Tom Laird is moot, with
[2919.0s] Kristen Flemens as a god, Sean Howard
[2921.0s] as Tiamat, and Russ More as your
[2923.0s] Dungeon Master. Production and sound
[2925.0s] design by Russ More. This episode
[2927.0s] featured music from Epidemic Sound,
[2929.0s] Artlist, and Kavin McLeod, and sound effects
[2931.0s] from Epidemic Sound, Boom Library,
[2933.0s] and Sound Ideas. A huge thank you to
[2935.0s] our supporting producers, Jessica Babyok,
[2937.0s] Kat Waterflame, Jacob Madden,
[2939.0s] Christian Brown, Craig Zeiss,
[2941.0s] Aaron Stevens, Perry Mady,
[2943.0s] Kayla Littlejohn, L.A. Branton,
[2945.0s] Old School Gamer Dee,
[2947.0s] Nathaniel Teeter, Destiny Garcia,
[2949.0s] Nicholas Cooper, and Garand Kierzen,
[2951.0s] and Sugar Gnar.
[2953.0s] Hear your name here, or just take
[2955.0s] advantage of hundreds of hours of bonus
[2957.0s] content, live hangouts,
[2959.0s] Discord access to the cast, and so
[2961.0s] much more at Patreon.com
[2963.0s] slash Dumb Dragon Cast.
[2965.0s] Thank you for listening. Have a great week.
[2967.0s] We'll talk again soon.
[2969.0s] Oh, the wheels are falling off of this, you guys.
[2971.0s] I love it.
[2973.0s] Dumbgeons & Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.